I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
