You really coming over, don't trick.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
