Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
