who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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