Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
