I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
