If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
