Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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