flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
