I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
