I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
