thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
