I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
