I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
