Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
