I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
