Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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