what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
two words...techno handjob
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
