i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sorry about my life...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
