Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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