What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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