I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
