Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
