East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
