Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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