youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize