i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
