I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
