so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
