haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can text with my tongue
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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