he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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