She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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