Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have fence marks all over my body
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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