My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
