i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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