Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
