Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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