do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
