i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
