Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize