I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
