Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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