I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
