you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
