the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
