Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
