They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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