Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How's work?
Spinning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
