first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
