I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize