there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My bed smells like the plague
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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