He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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