found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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