The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
