I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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