This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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