Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize