My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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