first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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