Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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