Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
